Make them frown
Stretched out on his big office chair behind the counter, the man scratched his beard on seeing me come to ‘sell’ a product to his shop on a dry, summer afternoon. Beads of sweat rolled down my face, that I wiped and sat down, looking for the slightest possible relief inside the large electrical shop. “A woman, that too in sales, are you?”, he frowned and asked. I slightly nodded thinking about which part of his question my nod answers to, trying to avoid the surprised look on his face.
To carry on the conversation with a stranger, my introverted mind spilt out the usual ‘weather is really hot these days’. He spat his paan masala near his counter and made his point, “Today it is the heat, tomorrow you will have skin problems and your body will not be able to sustain this role. I have women at home, I have seen the problems that keep occurring to you guys at the slightest of discomfort.”
I would not say I was completely taken aback, but it wasn’t very sweet to the ears. I responded with a meek smile and was about to clear the stance, before which he added,”If you tell that a woman is in this profession to ‘big – good households’, it is not considered nice.”
To this, I was taken aback. Listening to this just when you have started with your first job ever is not encouraging, to say the least. What it sure did, although, was throw away the cloak of invisibility from the ghost of ‘gender bias’. A phrase that I read about and thought existed in history textbooks or lower strata of society… alas, reality had slapped it on my face.
The story is not uncommon, if you ask women in sales. How ‘thick skin’ is a preliminary skillset you develop within the role, certainly more applicable on women. How we have advanced into this new, vibrant India, but some borders around the minds of people remain intact, untouched and unchanged. How do then people change, you ask. They change when you make them frown. Make them uncomfortable by doing your job rather than being uncomfortable about yourself.
It took time for me to wrap my head around it. It took a while before I called myself out for being bothered by others.
What we do need to remember, whatsoever, is that
Unseen is confusing, yet the boat once taken fetches you to the other side, meeting wind, the sun, frowns, freckles, fun and fatigue on the route.
You sail through, eventually.
Similar to a tunnel, you see, once you get in, you are bound to reach somewhere, the least you ought to do is keep moving.
You travel through, eventually.
What matters in the journey, is what you see, where you stop and which signs you ignore to stumble and fall down. Falling down is an act of refreshment, I say, because as SRK said, the only way left to move when you are at your lowest is upwards and onwards. The more you weep at the shore for missed ship, the sea moves the ship farther away.
Until next time.